“I’d built it up in my head a lot–being a professional climber. This felt like the consummation of those dreams. I found the valley, I envisioned the trip, I got the funding, made it happen, stood at the base, picked the line, climbed it, sent, we were at the top and it wasn’t feeling the way I wanted it to feel,” says Chris Kalman.

Chris, Austin Siadak and Miranda Oakley got to go on what should have been a climber’s dream trip–fully funded first ascents of granite big walls in the Coast Range of British Columbia, helicopter transport in and out, minimal struggles and good team dynamics. But, by the end, Chris realized that this dream trip left him feeling a little hollow and he needed to redefine how he pursues meaningful adventures.

Want to hear more from Chris? Listen to his Shorts, “Vanlife” and “The Journey Within,” check out his website, ChrisKalman.com or order a copy of his book “As Above, So Below: A Climbing Story”

Music: If Walls Could Talk by Jacob Bain & Nis Kotto    • Cold War Echo by Kai Engel    • I Dare You by Little Glass Men    • Sunset by Kai Engel    • Rewire Your Cables by Little Glass Men    • Freaks by Bradley Carter    • The Temperature of the Air on the Bow of the Kaleetan by Chris Zabriskie    • Hollow by Hopeless Jack    • Lost Forever by Little Glass Men    • Novacaine by Fog Lake    • Hope! by The F*cked Up Beat    • Manly Nunn Steps Out by Doctor Turtle    • Lau by Richard Smith

Tracks provided by Free Music Archive and with permission from the artists.